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I am hanging by my wrists from a bondage rack as four black-clad
domintarixes abuse me in a public spectacle worthy of Caliglula himself. In the spirit of
artfully commercialized depravity that propelled the Roman empire in its heyday, not to
mention Sodom and Gomorrah, the throngs of party animals, exhibitionists and assorted
professionals—from high-priced escorts to out-of-town psychiatrists—who call South
Beach home in the lazy evenings of impending summer, congregated at Crobar on Friday, June
9 for the inaugural installment of 'SEX,' a party for the ages.
As one of my masked mistresses of the night rubs ice cubes across my naked
chest, another mock-spanks my genitals with a feather-tipped riding crop. In the
10,000-square-foot main room of the club, a capacity crowd bellows its approval.
Meanwhile, a sweaty mob of dancers and revelers, fueled by Ecstasy, alcohol and God knows
what else, is illuminated by glow sticks and laser lights that highlight giant condoms
descending from the ceiling. As the festivities reach a fever pitch, my companions and I
are cooled down by an explosion of liquid nitrogen from above the dance floor. From atop
black cubes located throughout the room, shirtless men with painted washboard stomachs—including Ego Trip photographer and nightlife Adonis, Buster—intermingle with
beautiful, scantily-attired women who intermittently flash their breasts or drop to their
knees to mimic an oral servicing of their neighbors.
"South Beach is out of control," says leather-clad Victor
Malafronte, a prominent photographer from New York who landed in town just six weeks ago.
Studded wristlets and anklets hang from his waist. "You'd never see partying like
this in New York, you'd never see this much sexual stuff going on in public. New York is
just too uptight. South Beach is insane."
In the upstairs, glass-enclosed VIP room, a $2,000-a-night escort in a
minimal red dress exposes herself to everyone nearby as she and her co-worker
sandwich-dance one of the two lucky male visitors from Las Vegas who have been hooked up
as a gift from a friend. An out-of-town party boy lowers the tight pants of a female
companion and licks her lower abdomen. From wall to wall, a ferocious sexual energy
consumes everyone, even relatively innocent bystanders, though innocence of even the
slightest extent is not a characteristic to be associated with this evening of
high-profile debauchery.
More than anything else, the 'SEX' event is a testament to the brilliance
and bottom-line savvy of Ken Smith and Cal Fortis, the owners of Crobar, one of the two
new clubs, along with Level, which set a new standard for partying in South Beach over
their recently-ended first seasons. Smith and Fortis, who own 10 clubs and restaurants in
Chicago and have been partners for 12 years, understand better than anyone else on the
scene that South Beach is driven by carnality, whether it is expressed in actual sex or
simply the well-packaged illusion of sex.
In a single season, Crobar has managed to corner a dominant share of the
market for debauchery, which in turn generates huge credit card tabs. It also generates
memorable photographs and video never to be shared with future grandchildren. And as the
dreaded off-season settles in, with club revenues historically dropping by a third or
more, the principals of Crobar have created a winning formula for packing in the masses,
whether visitors or locals, for hot summer nights of frenetic seduction.
"This is really good for business," says Bea, a rubber-clad VIP
hostess with an 18-inch tail extending from her perfect derriere. "We haven't had a
Friday night like this since the season ended."
Give credit to these guys. Because sex sells, they are the master salesmen
of South Beach. Because 'SEX' was an unbridled success, watch for the next one—and be
there. Even if you're only a voyeur.
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